she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
