No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize