Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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