Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Sicilean hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.

Fav 6 1585 1299
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.

Fav 2 2171 1021
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(785): View more from Kansas

Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry

Fav 7 806 1513
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(910): View more from North Carolina

She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now

Fav 2 1437 788
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(973): View more from New Jersey

They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.

Fav 1 1310 580
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(540): View more from Virginia

Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒

Fav 4 1078 695
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(907): View more from Alaska

I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.

Fav 11 931 1251
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(815): View more from Illinois

I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law

Fav 1 113 232
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(270): View more from Kentucky

On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?

Fav 0 31 5
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