well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My pussy is not your playground.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
