Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
