in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just want to make out with him forever
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
