Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
