She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
