First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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