That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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