Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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