I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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