When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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