Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
