OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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