Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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