And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
