This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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