i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
