So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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