No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
