goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
