I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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