he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
