Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
