I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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