Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
