yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
