i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
