you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
