butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
