i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
is that a dick in a sweater?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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