McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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