I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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