Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
