We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
