he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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