no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
