Where is the hickey?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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