Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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