He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
