Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
