I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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