Hey man sorry I got all grabby
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
