i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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