Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
