the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
