we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
