It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
