No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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