girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
