i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
