With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
