Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize