I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
