guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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