she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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