your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
