he thought i was a dude.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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