Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
