Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
