He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
